Of Talents and Humans!

I sometimes wonder how would it be if human never had the capacity to feel. I know its not a unique question that has popped up and there are many more like me who would have though the same thing at one point in time but come to think of it seriously how does it feel to completely be numb. I guess most of the problems currently bothering mankind would be over. The capacity to hate, love would be alien and greed and trauma could might as well history. I see a pup wining and my heart goes all for the animal, but despite that I do nothing, my heart breaks and I slump into depression. I hate being morose, gloomy or roam like a ghost but since I am human, damn human I cannot help it and despite best efforts, I fail to overpower these pitiful emotions. Most of you might just say "Get Over It Woman, What A Waste" but ya when was the last time anyone of you shrugged it off with a snap of your finger. At this point in time I would like to go numb, for one because I feel let down by friends and most importantly, I am guilty. Yes guilt is what's actually killing me. I have a unique talent. Its ruining things for myself with my own beautiful hands. I would like to think that I am numb as I write this coz things would appear for some strange more logical. Honestly speaking, I have not been very kind, appreciative, humane to lets say Mr Sweetheart. I am still numb. I should have been coz I wud like to believe that I am a nice person, ... Remember I am still numb...... but as I said my talent came in the way... and as always ended up ruining everything.... I know Mr Sweetheart did not deserve it but how could my talent now come into use... and now that allz lost all I do is roam like a ghost and write this ultra depressive blog.... Yes I am still numb. So I was just wondering if I didn't have the capacity to feel, none would have bothered and I cud be free from the clutches of these worldly nuances. Mr Sweetheart would not have existed for me and my friends would just be mere human bodies..... Ya may be I have gone insane but I am human after all.... Shucks! There I go. Human! Gawd, here I am giving yet another excuse for being so talented and at the same time being so apologetic about it.
If anyone is reading it plz don't bother your self, one bit coz this is a fragment of my crazy being... If you understand what that means.....